00:39 - 2005-03-25
Of Carol's Former Life
Yay update! Update make me muy happy! *squees and happy dances everywhere*
Anyway, essentially backdated entry that I typed up and couldn't post.
So I have this rather interesting, if somewhat psycho theory.
Somehow, after DoubleStar dinner this evening the topic of conversation rolled around to reincarnation. Now I assert that if I was anyone in a former life, it was Alexander the Great and perhaps a cat. Or maybe I'm preparing to be a cat in the next life. This is made more interesting because as a confirmed skeptic, I think reincarnation is bullshit. This, however, is beside the point. Someone pointed out to me that many people would make the same assertion. Clearly, then, there are either many fake Alexander the Great reincarnations running around and I must kill them all or something very peculiar is going on here. So, after consideration, I came up with a theory.
In the world today, there exist something on the order of 6 billion people. If you want that in number form, that's 6,000,000,000. That's a lot of people. Now, back in Alexander's time, the numbers were significantly smaller what with rampant war, disease, poor sanitary conditions, and so on. Clearly, in order to accomodate growing numbers, ancient souls were forced to split up and reinhabit people in fragmented form. Thus, I am a partial reincarnation of Alexander the Great. After further consideration, it has been determined that I am Alexander's balls (the penis was also considered, but rejected in favor of this option). As Alexander's balls, I am partially responsible for his testosterone, I was involved with the gay sex bit and I was probably partially responsible for his driving need to take over the world. And lo, Carol's past has been discovered.
Go me!
